Fighting with Crap

Londoners. They are insane. I promise.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/apr/24/espresso-book-machine-launches

I haven’t updated for a while, and in fact, I haven’t read or written much either. Too many exams, too little time, too little sleep, too much head-banging.

But!

With Obama’s fantastic decision to eliminate Guantanamo Bay, America needs a new torture device in three different varieties! It will make you want to be sick.

I really want to do a post on Maradonia and the Seven Bridges! It’s one of those crappy fantasy things written by an immature pre-pubescent girl on an ego-trip. I know that by mentioning its name, I am giving it yet more publicity, but to be honest, it’s just so funny!

I mean, it’s not meant to be; however… yeah. XD I’ve been writing a script for a video piss-take with my friend at school (he did most, in fact next to all, to be honest).

I’ll try and find the link for you–the first forty pages on the author’s “website”. (she puts random things in quotation marks). Now, you see, I like to help writers. Heck, on the Young Writers Society I do a lot of reviewing, and I try to improve their writing skills. I asked her to check out YWS for self-improvement, so that she wouldn’t have to self-publish it, and that she might one day improve. I meant it in genuine promise.

So far, she has only sworn grotesquely at me and claimed to be a best-seller and a better writer than me. I’m no Orwell, but she’s not better than me. Honestly. And I’m not trying to sound vain, or big myself up, because I’m still very bad and have a long time to go before publishing. I bet even you, reading this, are better than her. I cannot explain to you these atrocities without showing them to you. LOLLOLOLOL. She also believes she is the world’s youngest novelist.

(It seems she has removed the excerpt. I cannot find it through site-mapping. But nonetheless, it is of no disconcerting fact, as I have it stored on my computer in foreshadowing this wise move of hers, perhaps the first.)

Anyway. Before I get too caught up, I’ll direct you to some sporks already floating around the internet. I didn’t do them, obviously: respect to their rightful writers.

Impish Idea: Part One

Impish Idea:Part Two

Anti Shurtugal

They spork it much better than I. xD

I should be writing, shouldn’t I?

Best,

Mark